Review: Machete

MACHETE

Please father… have mercy

Disappointing. That’s all that was going through my head watching Machete. Based on the Grindhouse trailer the expectations were for crazy and stupid shit to happen and when it’s delivered in such a lacklustre fashion.

The story regards a former federale (Danny Trejo) called Machete who’s implicated in a plot to assassinate a Texan governor (Robert De Niro) and finds himself at the forefront of a mini-rebellion in the fight for illegal immigrants rights. The plot is pretty inconsequential and it’s definitely not what you’ll be going to see the film for. You’ll be watching to see legs and arms loped off, voluptuous girls and crazy nonsense occupying the screen time and that happens. There’s just no sense of excitement about it.

There’s charm and of course it winks an eye to its audience, but the story is so mundane and trivial and you’re left waiting for moment when it realises what it is. When is this film going to turn into a rip-roaring, balls to the wall exploitation film?

When it does, it’s too late. There are moments to enjoy but that’s all they are, moments. Seeing Lindsay Lohan wield a machine while dressed as a nurse is sure to guarantee a few laughs. Danny Trejo’s performs his lines as if he was deliberately bored, (‘Machete don’t text) or is so badass that he just doesn’t care, but they’re little parts that exist in a very moribund package. A disappointment, one that makes me think that Robert Rodriguez is running out of tricks to use.

6/10

 

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Posted on 22/12/2010, in Reviews and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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